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If you ever get the chance to go to Antarctica, you’re sure to encounter a flock of Gentoo penguins, who coexist in harmony. These adorable birds are not only sociable but also very romantic. Like many of their penguin relatives, Gentoo penguins are known to mate for life, which means they form deep and lasting bonds with their chosen partners. But what sets Gentoo penguins apart is their heartwarming way of expressing affection – “pebbling.”
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During breeding season, male gentoo penguins painstakingly search for the smoothest, most perfect pebble they can find. They then present this pebble to their favorite female as a token of their affection. When she accepts it, it becomes the foundation of the nest, symbolizing the beginning of their life together.
This beautiful ritual speaks to the deep connection between these birds, but it may not be unique to penguins. Interestingly, we humans also have our own form of pebbling: a simple and thoughtful gesture we use to show affection and affection, sometimes without even realizing it.
How do humans use “pebbling”?
The word pebbling has been gaining a lot of traction online. Many are enthralled by the idea that humans pebble too. This fascinating concept has fascinated many and sparked a variety of conversations about how we can express our affection through small, thoughtful gestures. However, according to most people, sharing memes, videos and links seems to be the most relatable and widespread form of pebbling. It’s a fun idea that, just like gentoo penguins, we too have our own way of showing love and appreciation – a simple act that shows that we care about the other person.
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In particular, meme sharing is most similar to modern-day masonry. Instead of collecting twigs, berries, and pretty stones, we share a photo, a TikTok, or a funny Tweet that we think our loved one will enjoy. It’s our own modern, human way of saying, “I found this lovely thing and I want to give it to you.” The 2023 Communication Study found that meme sharing is frequent in close relationships and plays an important role in spreading joy to people we care about.
This act of sharing is more than just conveying content. It’s a thoughtful, intentional way to connect, show the other person you’re thinking of them, and hopefully make them smile. But pebbling isn’t just about funny memes and TikToks. It actually shows up in a variety of heartfelt ways in our relationships.
1. Music sharing
Sharing music, whether it’s a carefully curated playlist or an old-fashioned mixtape, is a meticulous form of pebbling. There is thought and consideration in the act of selecting songs, with each song saying, “This song reminds me of you.” Whether it represents a cherished memory or message, or simply captures the beauty of the recipient, each song is transformed, through love and labor, into an attempt at connection.
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A 2016 study in Popular Communication explained that “a mix ritually transforms a commercial pop song into something laboriously gift-worthy. For the mixer, as for any gatherer in the consumer market, the act of selection itself is a labor of love that renders the gift-worthy inalienable.” Each selected song is a musical pebble, handpicked to evoke emotion, share memories, and make affection and infatuation tangible.
2. Gifts
The tradition of gift-giving, whether it be small trinkets or grand gestures, is deeply rooted in human behavior and is much like the pebble-throwing ritual of Gentoo penguins. This custom is not just about physical goods; it symbolizes care and affection, and shows that the recipient’s wants, needs and preferences will not be ignored.
A study in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology highlights that “gift-giving is an ancient, common, and familiar behavior that is thought to establish and foster social connections.” Every gift, whether lavish or modest, is a tangible expression of love and care, chosen to bring joy and happiness to the recipient.
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3. Handwritten notes
In an age dominated by digital communication, handwritten letters hold a special place as an emotional medium. The act of putting pen to paper, carefully choosing the words you think the other person wants or needs to hear, is the most clear and intentional way to express your love to another person.
According to a United States Postal Service study, “respondents feel they have a more meaningful connection with the people they send letters to.” Whether these letters are licked, stamped, and sent, or left at home to be found, they capture emotions and memories in a way that digital messages often can’t. Each letter is a personal, enduring pebble, imbued with the writer’s true feelings and thoughts.
4. Acts of Service
Performing acts of service is another profound way humans engage in pebbling. These acts are driven by “compassionate love” and demonstrate a deep concern for the well-being of others and a desire to enhance their happiness, without expecting anything in return.
As defined by a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, compassionate love is “concern about the well-being of others and taking actions that promote that well-being, regardless of whether those actions will benefit oneself in the future.” Like pebbles in an Antarctic nest, these acts of service are selfless ideas that build and strengthen the foundation of loving relationships.
A version of this post also appeared on Forbes.com.
