“This was one of those days when I wished I had magical powers and could just disappear. But that didn’t happen.”
I was invited to an event in Abuja, the capital of Nigeria. No, I wasn’t a participant of the event. I was invited as a guest. It was a beautiful supermarket decorated with ribbons and balloons in preparation for the arrival of top guests. Everything was gorgeous and fantastical. The supermarket itself was a two-storey building with at least three apartments on the upper floor and a spa beside it. The lower floor and part of the building housed the supermarket and a boutique pharmacy. I loved it. It was my favourite place. When I arrived, I walked upstairs to see the spa. I love spas and wanted to know if they had a two-handed massage. It’s one of my favourites.
The spa was beautiful with its pale peach and grey decor. It was a sight to behold. “I’ll definitely come back here again,” I muttered under my breath. No, you didn’t guess. They had all my favorite massages. They had relaxation massage, deep tissue, head massage, and yes, my favorite, the double-handed massage. I drifted through the spa. I felt like I was on a cloud. Then, I headed to the pharmacy. They had a good selection and the portions were just right. I really liked this place. As I was lazily walking through the pharmacy, my personal assistant Doom brought me back to reality. “The guest of honor will be here shortly,” her voice said piercing the empty pharmacy store. There were no customers yet, just me and the staff. I pulled myself together and went back downstairs.
The opening of the event was held in front of the supermarket. Tents and balloons were set up everywhere, and chairs for VIPs and other guests were neatly arranged. I had heard in advance that the President or his representative would be there, as well as foreign dignitaries. Therefore, security was tight, with top-level security guards everywhere. Before going downstairs, I asked Doom to bring my jacket, which I had left on the spa chair in my excitement. As the sirens announcing VOPs and foreign dignitaries blared, the second floor of the venue was sealed off by security, and Doom, my personal assistant, was trapped upstairs with my jacket. My arms were exposed, a light rain started to fall, and I began to shiver a little. I put my hands on my upper chest to try and keep myself warm. At the same time, I began to feel uncomfortable.
I am not one to go out in public in just a camisole and a long skirt, with my arms exposed. I was having a moment. I looked around to see whose jacket I could borrow, but I didn’t recognize anyone. The owner of the supermarket, who I knew and his wife, was welcoming dignitaries with a big smile on his face. He was a big man, wearing a pure white jacket and white flannel trousers. I would drown in his jacket. I looked but couldn’t find his wife.
Doom remained trapped on the second floor. In despair, I started to walk backwards, but on my way, some of Nigeria’s current experts grabbed me to say hello. The Chief of Staff to the President, His Excellency Femi Gbajabiamila, the Minister of Youth, Dr. Jemila Bio, the Minister of Aviation, Festus Keyamo, the Minister of State for Health, Prof. Pate. One by one, they offered handshakes and hugs. I really wanted to run away.
I heard the host announce the arrival of Chief Nyesom Wike, Minister of the Nigerian Capital Territory, followed by His Excellency Tajudeen Abbas, who was acting as Speaker on behalf of the President. I left the venue before they arrived, my lip trembling. I was wearing an embarrassing top and fully exposed. Then the host started to say that President Macaron, the President of France and a good friend of the supermarket owner, had just snuck into the venue, was sequestered upstairs, and was heading downstairs to receive the acting President of Nigeria. He was to be escorted downstairs by the wife of the supermarket owner. In no time at all, President Macaron arrived through the back door of the venue with the wife of the supermarket owner, who is also my friend. Of course, they stopped where I ran and hid to say hello.
This was one of those days when I wished I had magic powers and could just disappear. But it didn’t. Hello, my friend said with a big smile. Congratulations, I told her. It’s a really nice place. Thank you, my love. Let me introduce our VVIP: His Excellency the President of France. I gave an awkward smile as he offered me his hand for a handshake. I offered my own too. He shook his hand firmly and smiled warmly. This was the moment I needed my magic wand. It’s so nice to meet you, he said with a big smile. I’ve heard so much about you from the couple. Announcer? Yes, I managed to say through clenched teeth. I’ve heard you’re a national treasure. A bit overrated, I said as he took my hand away. Humility doesn’t get you anything, he said. There was a slight intonation in his words, and a throaty laugh. Soon the host called for the French President and Mrs. to take their seats. All the while, I was trying to disappear in a ridiculous camisole and long skirt.
Then he said the unthinkable: “You look cold and uncomfortable.” He then took off his blue-black jacket and put it on for me before taking his seat. He put on his usual crisp white shirt and walked towards the front. As he started to return to his seat, I blinked twice. The President of France. His jacket, me? Then the moderator called the proceedings underway. As the moderator called for the supermarket owner to make a welcoming address, I sat down trying to understand what had happened.
Then the lights came on, blinding me. My youngest daughter came into my bedroom wearing a stylish hat and a mischievous smile. “Mommy, are you awake?”
“I had a crazy dream,” I told her. “Not like I became the president of a little Caribbean island, right? No, but I was close!”
